How to Communicate Mindfully

On a daily basis you are communicating in multiple ways - via emails, phone calls, texts or in person. The question is how effectively is your communication? Are you really being present every time you communicate? 

Being mindful when communicating can help improve listening skills, looking at problems objectively and strengthening relationships.

To practice effective mindful communication, it is important to incorporate the following steps into future conversations:

·      Attention – actually pay attention to the person you are speaking with. Pay attention to what you are talking about and their responses. Don’t be on a device when having a conversation with someone as that will divert your attention away from effective communication.

·      Awareness – be aware of where you are when communicating, who you are talking to, what you are talking about, the tone of the conversation etc. Be in the present moment of that conversation.

·      Automatic Patterns – everyone has automatic communication patterns, you just need to be able to identify them. Once they are identified you can make sure you are communicating positively and mindfully. For example, you may struggle to hold eye contact with others. If you are aware of this, then you can actively work on making eye contact when communicating. Or if you know you have a tendency to jump in and interrupt others when there is a pause in conversation, you can be mindful to wait until the other person has finished speaking.

·      Multitasking – be sure to stop what you are doing when someone is trying to communicate with you. It allows distractions to be minimal so you can really focus on the present moment and communicate efficiently and effectively.

·      Compassion – understanding the other person’s perspective through compassion can assist in having meaningful conversations. If you can, try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

·      Listening – this is a vital step in effective communication. Truly listen to the other person without interrupting. Check in with yourself and your surroundings while listening. Be sure to pause before your respond in a respectful manner. Repeat this cycle every time you communicate.

·      Body Language – be sure to keep an eye on your body language as well as the person or people you are talking with. To gain rapport try and subtly mirror the body language of the person who is talking. It triggers their brain to feel comfortable before they even know that someone is mirroring their gestures.

·      Choose Words Carefully – make sure the words you choose are clean and appropriate. It costs nothing to be kind and respectful. Also refrain from using words such as ‘but’ and ‘however’. Once these words are spoken, it negates the entire message prior. For example, “It was great to see you today, but next time don’t be late.” The person who you are talking to is only going to remember the latter of the sentence and forget the compliment at the beginning. Instead use the word ‘and’ as a pleasant way to add on constructive criticism.

Combining these steps to help with mindful communication will take practice. The more you are in the present moment when communicating, the stronger your conversations will be. Start with one mindful conversation each day, and before you know it, you’ll be an excellent mindful communicator.